Lost-A story.

“I have some work regarding the admission in this college.”Varun said,when the watchman stopped him from going inside the college.

As he entered the college,he did not know on which floor was he supposed to go,Shanaya never told him anything.

He went to the enquiry counter and asked about the course shanaya was currently studying in.

He hated the temperature of Mumbai,So hot and humid even in rainy season,he was sweating uncontrollably.

“Excuse me,Where is the classroom for computer programming?”Varun was on the second floor as instructed by the lady at the enquiry counter,he saw a peon and gave him detailed about the class.

“It gets over at 4:30,You will have to wait.”The peon said

“Okay,I’ll wait here.”he said sitting next to the peon.

Suddenly the peon told him to come along with him.

“Whom do you want to meet?”The peon asked varun as they were outside the computer lab.

“Shanaya…Shanaya Bhandhari.”Varun replied.

“Yes,I finally am here,to meet her,She would be so surprised and happy.”Varun thought in his mind.He had his bag of framed sketches of and for shanaya in his hand.

Varun had come all the way from Punjab to meet shanaya,Even though he knew that shanaya did not like him,And asked him to move on and find someone who would respect his love.He never gave up on her.

Shanaya was beautiful for him.

He knew that coming to her college was wrong,but this was his only chance to meet Shanaya.He knew that shanaya did not like flowers and so he brought a novel for her as he knew that she loved books more than flowers.

Varun always wanted to see shanaya happy,Her happiness meant everything to her.

Shanaya on the other hand,always pushed him away,It was so hard for varun to know shanaya because she never shared anything about her life with him,But somehow he managed to know her college name and the rest was history.

“Someone to meet you.”The peon told shanaya.

But before the peon said shanaya had seen varun and her face was shocked.She definitely didn’t see this coming.

Varun did not know what to say,He couldn’t believe she was there.It was the first time he was seeing her.

Shanaya had kept her hands on her lips and she was laughing and varun too was smiling seeing her laugh that way.To him it looked like she was happy and surprised to see him there.

“It’s so hot in Mumbai.”Varun said,But wondered why he said that.

Varun kept on looking af her face,She was magic and varun felt as though he was struck my her beautiful magic.

She nodded and shakes of her head to what varun had said.

Shanya removed her hands off her face.

Varun could see her face clearly now, her cheeks were red and she was smiling,her twinkling eyes made varun forget where he was and all that he was going to say was drained.

Varun knew that she was not like other girls.

“I have my practicles going on,don’t you have to catch a train and leave for pune in a few hours.”Shanaya said,her face firm now.

“Yes,I’m just here to give you this.”Varun pointed towards the bag.

Varun had made two sketches for shanaya,and he was here just to give her these.

Varun didn’t know what shanaya’s heart wanted,It’s not as if he never tried knowing her completely,shanaya always pushed him away from her life,but that was what had brought him more close to her.

“I already told you,I won’t take it…Look I have to go”Shanaya said

“I’ll wait in the cafe that’s besides your college”varun smiled and left.

Varun could see the tension created on shanay’s face,but he just let it all go,he wanted to talk to her,show her all his sketches.

As he went to The Cafe,he kept thinking about her,their meeting,her face,seeing her was the most beautiful thing in his life.

His phone flashed a message from shanaya saying :”You’re so creepy,I hate you.”

And before he could reply it switch-off because of low battery.

As he was thinking about her,he forgot,he hadn’t eaten anything all day long,But he wasn’t hungry at all,he just couldn’t wait to show her sketches,tell her stories,make her laugh,get a smile on her angry face.

It was 4:40 pm,he expected shanaya to be here anytime soon,and she did.

When he looked at her standing at the entrance of the Cafè,he waved her and asked her to come to him,but instead she told him to come out,he didn’t.He wanted to talk to her,show her his sketches,give her the ones he had made for her.

She was coming over to the place he sat,and was doing something on her phone,he wondered whom she was texting.

As she came up to him,he asked her to sit,she denied.

Her face was red,he was aware of her anger and he thought she would shout at him.

“It’s getting late,I have to catch a bus,I’ll have to go now.”She said it politely,She didn’t to anything like varun expected.

Varuns face was expressionless,he didn’t know what to say,how to tell her to wait.

He just noded at her,got up from where he was sitting and started walking outside the cafe.

He wanted to cry,but he held back his tears.He looked at shanaya for one last time and left without saying anything.

He loved her,But she didn’t.He tried his best,but it all went wrong.Unaware of what she wanted,he did what his heart said,but this time he was lost because he has LOST her.

P.S-Please also read,
https://simpleheadgirl.wordpress.com/2015/07/19/stay-a-story/

Winter Night.

In this winter night,I look outside,
As the creatures and birds and humans of all kind,
Are fast asleep,Unaware of the beauty of the night,
I love these bright stars,shining up so high,
In the cloudless twinkling night,
Everything is so calm,the world is quiet.

Cold winds blow,Like a slow musical show,
They whisper in my ears,Am I the only one to hear?,
I keep my eyes skinned,But these winds have ginned me from within ,
I sync with the wind,trying to find my missing link,
In the cloudless twinkling night,
Everything is so calm,the world is quiet.

I think and think,as the clock on the wall ticks,
It  clicks in my,Its been a long time,
I haven’t written about my life,I pick a paper,
A pencil and eraser,to write something light but right,
In the cloudless twinkling night,
Everything is so calm,the world is quiet.

याद।/Her Memories.

वो तो है अपने प्यार के करीब;
एक में ही नहीं उसकी दुनिया में कही;
याद आती है वह आखे;प्यार भरी उसकी बातें;
वो उसका रूठ जाना;फिर पल भर में मान जाना;
वो उसके आसुओ को मेरी हँसी में तब्दील ला देना।

सब एक ख्वाब सा लगता हैं;
न जाने सब अभी यही था;
अब खो गया तारा सा लगता है;
अभी तो वह मेरे करीब था;
और अभी वो मुझे तनहा छोड़ गया है।

सूरज ढल ते ही यह दिल घबराता है;
उसकी याद में बेचैन हो जाता है;
दिन तो कट ते नहीं उसके बिना;
इंतज़ार में हर रोज़ चौखट पे;
गुजरती है मेरी हर शाम।

हर एक परिंदा घर चला जाता है;
बस न जाने वह क्यों नहीं आता है;
यह रातें है जो छेद जाती है;
मन में उसका ख्याल लाती है।

रातों में ख्वाब आता है;
पास नहीं है वह मेरे;
पर एक दोस्त याद आता है;
दिल तो बहल जाता है कुछ वक़्त के लिए लेकिन;
यहाँ कोई उसकी जगह कहा ले पता।

English Translation:

She is the one,who is close to her love;
I am the one who is not in her world;
I remember her eyes,her beautiful voice;
Her anger,which had love hidden inside,
The tears that she cried,come into my mind.

It all felt like a dream for a while;
Now it’s all like a star that is lost;
She was here,so close to me for a while;
Now she has left me and I’m lonely deep inside.

These nights are evil,They haunt me the most;
Her memories feel so much like a ghost;
She might be far away,but is close to my heart,
I console my self,make myself calm for a while,
But this heart is full of her thoughts.

P.S-This is my first ever hindi poem and I’ve written it with a dear friend of mine(who denied to put their name) also it has been written with a boys point of view.

Glitters.

Glitters,colours,lanterns and sparks,
Each time you look out,everything looks so magical,
Every house shining with lights so bright,
It’s the time of the year,
When you buy something precious,
Which is so beautiful like a treasure,
Your house is clean,to welcome the queen,
You pray to her,with flowers and sweets,
To bless upon you,and keep you in glee,
You go outside,and burn many crackers,
Your firework goes up in the sky,
And it’s light ignites,the whole place shines,
It is the time to celebrate the night with lights together,
And wish each other A Happy Diwali.

Wind.

Everytime,I go up there quiet high,
I close my eyes,where I can feel the wind,
It is a symphony to my ears,
Like every song you sang to me,
When you were here,
I can feel it on my cheeks,
Touching me softly,like your lips,
But,When it touches my eye,that’s where,
All the flashback starts by,
We are both sitting together,
Me by the window and you sitting by me,
On those travelling times,the trains so fast,
I could feel the wind in my hair,
And I could feel my hair touch your face,
Embarrassed I tied my hair around,
I know you didn’t like them that way,
I could see you looking at me,from the corner of my eye,
When I caught you looking,I could see your face so red,it was so rare,
It said so many things,which you left unsaid,
Now,Each time I  feel the wind,
I know you’re always there,Looking in the same way,
I remember your face so well,
It was so rare to see you blush red,
But,I remember it all clearly in my head.

P.S-This poem is strictly based on imaginations.

Simple Head Girl.

   I have always been different,observing too many strangers,dreaming out of my imaginations,deriving patterns out of clouds,Looking at stars and being lost in the beauty of its glitter and sparks.I do strange things,I love collecting bookmarks,the smell of new books has always fascinated me,And when I’m sad,it’s too late when I realize that I’ve eaten a lot of chocolate.I love to melt down icecream in my mouth before gulping it in.

My heart takes me to calmer place,but my mind is never quite,I keep thinking of different scenarios,and stories,or the books I have read and have to read come into my mind a lot of times,my music takes me to a wonderland,where I get lost in the symphony of voices.

I can’t help but notice secrets hidden in people’s eyes,their facial expressions and smiles are a gateway to what they think,but most of the time it’s their sparkling eyes,with hidden dreams to ignite.I envy happy people,because they hide their pains inside them,and make others laugh with joy,I love watching silent tear trickle down their face when they laugh uncontrollably.

I’m crazy most of the time,In the middle of the conversation when two potter-heads (Harry potter fans) are talking I end up saying “I’m a simple-head”,and laugh seeing their annoyed faces,I laugh when a suddenly a funny memory comes to my mind,and I laugh uncontrollably even when my friend cracks a lame joke.

I’m a confused soul.I am always confused about what clothes I should buy or which dish I should try,shopping is not one of my favourite things to do,I get annoyed when I go out shopping.I have to keep so many things in my mind,that I rather find myself sipping coffee and reading novels than finishing things to do.

I’m happily twisted,in my own little place.I always have a book in my hand that I’m reading at that moment,I can’t resist how each page unfolds a hidden secret or I feel like a detective trying to solve the hidden mystery with each turn of the page.

I imagine a lot of things,I behave like a child a lot of times,especially when I’m painting,Sometimes I paint the paper dark blue and blow white paint over it to make it look like stars,or make something so colourful that even I cannot understand,but it feels like the colours talk to me like old friends reuniting.

More than all this I love writing,my love for writing began when I was 16,I thought WordPress was a place where I could read novels,as I was forbidden from buying paper copies of novels,but it was then I discovered I could write out of all that I had read in books and newspapers,it was my chance to try something new.

I write because it’s something exciting,I write because I want to create something good,it is something I can do without whining,I could write all my life with the purest heart,I wanted to be anonymous,but it wasn’t possible for a long time.

But here I am,Simple head girl,who is truly In love with music,deeply into writing and madly in love with reading.

P.S-I’m not self obsessed,just came up with this.

What Love Is.

I don’t know what love is.I guess it’s the feeling you get when you see your close one’s smile,shine and appreciate your work,Its the happiness in their eyes that the notes cannot buy.

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I don’t know what love is.I guess it’s the way a mother treats her child,making peace with the differences her child has,and loving and caring her child even though she had expected so much more from him. image

I don’t know what love is.I guess it’s the time when he sees her for the first time,she waves at him their eyes meet and he can see her by his side for the rest of his life.

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I don’t know what love is.I guess when I see my bestfriend after a long time and we have so much to talk,laugh and share.It’s makes you spill out everything in you,just because you know this person will never judge you.

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I don’t know what love is.I guess it’s finally accepting the fact that you need to spend your life with someone without changing them and them loving you the way you are.

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I don’t know what love is.I guess it’s the glow she carries on her face when she meets him after two months,The glow makes him forget the distance between them and reminds them about their trust and love for each other.

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I don’t know what love is.I guess it’s the trust my little brother has on me,Each time I sit on the chair keeping my legs on the bed and he climbs on the little bridge I created saying”I know you won’t make me fall di.”
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I don’t know what love is.I guess it is when the father took the baby in his arms for the first time.And she opens her sparkling eyes,And he thought”The spark in her eyes could turn into flames and spread.”

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I don’t know what love is.I guess I knew it when my grandfather said “We did not say goodbye,Maybe that is why she comes in my dreams everynight.She is still alive,deep inside me.”

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I don’t know what love is, but I’m starting to realize that it is that one look you get from your loved one,that makes all your anxiety,loneliness,fears disappear because you know that they are always there for you.Love is the care someone showers on you.It’s not flowers and gifts but it is more of care that you share.

From what little i have gathered about love,I know it is a beautiful dream,which leaves you magicstruck,it’s like the wave which comes back to you,it’s like the wish,which came so true in your life.

PS-I’m adding the GIFS for the first time,I hope they’re good.

Little Girl.

I never make you proud,
But I promise I won’t put down,
I’ll always be your little girl,
The one who told the story you taught,when she was four,
And won the first price,I remember your happy face.

I know you’ve spent sleepless nights,
Just to let my dreams ignite,
I know there are scars in your heart,
The pain I see in your eyes everyday,They remind me of dreams,That you’ve now sacrificed.

I will leave your house one day,
Leaving behind the surname,That you gave,
But I won’t forget the lessons that you shared,To fight the world in everyway,
You’ve never seen me as a burden,Like the rest of the world says.

You’ve taught me to be brave,and never give up in anyway,
You’ve said the spark in my eyes could turn to flames and spread,
But,I’m just your little girl,Trying to find a place in this world,
It’s because of you who I am today.

Mirror.

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Mirror,Mirror on the wall..
Aren’t you tiered of this all?

You know them,
More then they know themselves,
You show them,
More than what they really are.

You see,
The beautiful,The ugly,
The happy,The sad,
The fat,The slim,
The tall,The short.

You patiently listen,
To their cries and their laughter,
To their success stories,and the reason behind their failure,
To their ideas and,their experiments.

You are,
Like the trust that shouldn’t be broken,
Like the invisible person,who is there,
Not moving,not saying,
But hearing.

Mirror Mirror on the wall,
I’m not here to ask you,
Whose the fairest of them all,
But,I’m here to ask you,
Aren’t you tired of this all?

Dreadful Dream.

“I Love him.” I told my best friend.

Who was always against my relationship with him.

But in the first place even I was.I did not want him,I always kept him away from me.I always told him to move on,forget about me,find someone who would truly respect his love,I hurted him,thinking one day he would leave.

But he did not.

He stayed.He made me realise,his love was as pure and that I loved him as much as he loved me.He knew that I love books as much as eveygirl likes flowers,He knew that I wasn’t the girl,who could’ve been impressed by money,looks and gifts,but I was the girl in search for a good heart,and he had it.

It was everything he says,everything he does,there is a different feeling that comes along with him.

I guess,I’ve never felt that way in my life so far.And I don’t know why it felt as though,he is the one who wouldn’t leave me,as though he is the support in my life,as though his love is as pure as me,as though this love is ours,and I realised i loved him more when I decided that all the smart remarks from people would be ignored.

But,My best friend.

She wasn’t people,She knew me since the last 5 years and she told me that the decision I was making was wrong,Because he was away from me,maybe because he was older to me,maybe…

She never gave me a reason or an answer to why shouldn’t I be with him.

I loved him,and now I didn’t have any reason to leave him.

“The decision is yours,I’ll wait for you as I always have.”He had told me at the time when I had said “I have no guts to tell my bestfriend,she will surely disapprove it.”

He had always accepted and supported every decision I took,but also told me to do things from my heart.But I always followed my brain.My heart was hurted so many times not not only because of love but life so many times and now it was too fragile for me to follow my heart.

But,My love for him was pure.

And I decided to tell my friend about it.I was afraid,If she wouldn’t like my decision,I wanted her to be happy for me and him,for us.

When finally came a day,Where I Told her “I Love Him.”

Her eyes where red,with tears forming in it,She did not say a word,But kept looking at me.

I don’t know,Why was she so against it,I don’t know what was she hiding from him,but seeing her cry,I knew she was hiding something from me.But I wanted to tell her that he was the one.

I wanted to tell her if I would let him go free then,he will come back to me.

But I couldn’t speak,and so couldn’t she.

I could feel tears on my own cheek,I could feel my nose turing red,A heart throbbing pain in my chest.

And I wake up to only find out,It was like one of those dreams i see everyday,and try to forget.

There are tears in my eyes,a fear in my heart,and a haunted memory all gone with the dreadful dream,I wonder why I keep seeing it again and again.